Snake Medicine

She's leaving early and going to bed

I'm hanging around for whatever's left

I'm white trash in an abusive relationship

I'm destroying what was never good to begin

I'm going with almost anyone who asks

Until I'm afraid of mirrors;

It's just parodies of futures

It's a cartoonish morphing creature

It's someone on the internet

who says I need a better partner

with thick black frames 
and bottles of lager

He plays Square Pusher

and cartoons from the nineteen hundreds

I don't think he even likes me but,

He turns the lights off

and he ties me

He turns the lights off

and he washed me

He turns the lights off

and he asked me,

When will I see you again?

But half the fun

was the destruction

The guts of a girl who'd rather be dead

Afraid of,

bad allies and false revolution

Excluded

for being smart and assertive.

Burning

for taking it personal

Pining 

to be and not to be

a victim

I didn't make out on parked buses

in bass bumped warehouses.

I didn't drink under bridges

and perform seances

I didn't share a bath

with a girl who painted cosmos

I didn't take a bike ride

or travel to the mountains

I didn't take my shirt off

and run as I fast as I could

for exactly 30 seconds

The part of me that wanted 

to die

was already dead.
Thrown out
and burned up in the crash
When you go back to the spot
you can hear me laugh

I aborted the kid

I forgot the missing limb

I walked inside a fire

where my shadow died

so I could live

I moved to Minneapolis

I lived out of my back pack

I made it as an artist

I hitchhiked with a trucker

I danced til sun up at a rager
I saw turkeys in the mornin
I spent 5 days with a skater
in a hammock in the forest

I took the empire builder 

home for Christmas
talked train routes with the conductor

and I spent three days in my bed
just trying to remember what she said;

I could do anything I wanted

There's nothing to fear

When you're already dead