It's Just the Little Death

We're saying it's for the best
and I'm not looking back
guided now by dreams of far away places
and working hard to afford it
and always searching for this moment right now
pressing the importance upon my head
to remember the purples and blues of the dusky lake walk

We toasted 5 times to boats and thanked them for their grains and minerals
We spoke crudely and laughed loudly
and everyone wished they were us
We found friends on the way
and wandered back to the lake

I yelled at a guy for his faith in politicians
drank a pint in two minutes
and we all played hacky sack outside the bar
I told my friend he was being a one note town
and he hugged me
and I think he might be the only boy who ever understood me,
we're just alike
We see in the whole world conspiracy but
could still faint in awe at the beauty
Guided by dreams and ideas of far away places
where people don't hurt one another
and we all respect our mother

It's not really the events as much as the boredom
and the primitive compulsions that we seem to be unaware of
until after we're trapped
He said we're an army of fucked up people trying to make it different for our children
and I knew he could see me
and how strength and pain
and love and hate coexist so easily
How could our hearts be so full
And everyone I know is still so far away

I keep looking at the sky trying to sort out the static
and understand the concept of space
hoping it might have some answers
on how I can feel more concrete
or maybe rather be free like the far spaced molecules
which keep the color blue and yet manage to elude
material
Unlike me chained to my body
comforted by the smell of skin
attached to actions which produce endorphins
enacting biological imperatives
nursing the open wounds on my conscious
with a variety of toxins
they came from answerless questions

Sometimes I think it might be nice to know
at least on thing for sure
But every time I think it will always be the same
everything changes
And we're saying goodbye
and some day I won't be able to count on an open invitation
when I am weak and seeking certainty
As if that might make me less lonely
and more tethered to my body

I asked him once if he liked me better when I was innocent
and we both agreed
this is for the best